The Beef Project
One of the local farmers passes away and Junior Singleton inherits from him a prized steer that the men promptly offer to butcher for him. Cast (in order of appearance): , , , , , , , , , Segments: Red's Campfire Songs, That's What Friends Are For, Handyman Corner, Red's Sage Advice, Ranger Gord's Watchtower, Adventures With Bill, The Experts, Winston Rothschild's Sewage Truck Transcript Intro {Red is seen fishing on a pier early in the morning.} RED GREEN: One of the differences between men and women is that men feel they have to dominate things. It's not enough to enjoy nature or a job or even a conversation. Man has to dominate! I think that's why we eat so much meat. I mean, there's domination for you: man against animal; who's gonna eat who. Most guys think "vegetarian" is an Indian word meaning "lousy hunter". It's not smart or correct, but it's one of the things that makes us what we are. Title sequence Plot Segment 1 Segue: Ranger Gord's Watchtower {Ranger Gord is standing outside his tower.} RANGER GORD: Hi, you're watching The Red Green Show. {he suddenly chokes up and sobs} You're lucky! Red's Campfire Song That's What Friends Are For Handyman Corner Red's Sage Advice RED GREEN: I want to talk to all you older guys out there now. I want you to know that you're not alone. I'm one of you. And every week, more and more of us are coming out of the tool room and admitting it. Admitting that we have nothing to say, to anyone, about anything. Your wife probably knows this. You've said it all to her before. You're still with her. You have nothing to add. That's all right. Unfortunately, there are some guys out there who have nothing to say, but keep talking. If you find yourself ranting about how people are parking their cars on your street, you have nothing to say, stop talking. If you find yourself going on and on and on about how Jeopardy! is way better than Wheel of Fortune, or how hard these new orange juice cans are to open, or the high price of hammers, you have nothing to say! If you find yourself telling a hilarious story that you read in Reader's Digest, stop talking! No one is listening to you. The person you're talking to has glazed over and is nodding their head, while they make out a grocery list, or plan how to spend their winter vacation, or vow never to get as old and boring as you are! So don't just keep talking until you think of something. You may not! Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together. Segue: Ad for Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services WINSTON ROTHSCHILD: Hi, Winston Rothschild here from Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services, reminding you... {he holds up his business card on which the slogan and the phone number is displayed} "Don't get hosed somewhere else." Call 1-800-555-SUCK! Plot Segment 2 Game Show Ranger Gord's Watchtower Adventures With Bill Plot Segment 3 The Experts Winston Rothschild's Sewage Truck Segue: Harold Green Plot Segment 4 Fun Facts Trivia *This episode marks the first appearances of Dalton Humphrey, Winston Rothschild, Ben Franklin and Edgar K.B. Montrose. Real-World References *''Jeopardy!'' and Wheel of Fortune are both famous television game shows that were both created by Merv Griffin.